WAY 0.T. ! ~I need a 'SIGMUND FREUD' ! type

[Jodi Frye]

Sorry to waste space with my 0.T. post but this is driving me nuts ! I have these re-occuring dreams that I am living in a city somewhere....many times it's always the same city ( I have no idea where it is ). Here's the problem...I leave my home ( walking) and I always get lost....I can never find my way back home. It's always the same landmarks that I see when i am lost and I'm always trying to remember which way to go when I get to these landmarks..I have a vague memory in my dream that I know which way to go once I reach this landmark but I can't quite ever remember...I find myself walking for hours looking to find my way home. I never do find my way home and I always wake up before I can find it...the waking up part is the BEST part....what a relief ! Anyways, I've walked through this same city for the past 3-5 years in my dreams ( very rare that the city is different in my dreams but sometimes it is )...Anyways, I really hate these dreams because I feel so awful in them...not being able to find my way home is the worst feeling. Strange thing about these dreams is that there are always lots of people around but I never speak to them...I never ever ask for help in the dream. Also, I do not live in a city and never have.

So, if you have studied psychology please tell me what is wrong with me and how I can overcome this. I have a feeling that if I ever do find my way home that the dreams will stop....I just don't know how to find my way home. I really want these dreams to stop.

You can pm me instead of posting if you wish...thanks

Again, sorry to waste space but I'm sick of it ! I felt like crying when I woke up this morning...happy to wake up mind you but still feeling very sad and alone.

[Pauline]

Well Jodi based on what you have said, I have come to the conclusion that you must be a male................."surrounded by people but wouldn't talk to anyone and ask directions".

Also I think it has to do with the fact that you are a Canadian and living in the States and you want to come back home to Canada where you belong. You feel like an alien on American soil (hense your avator).

Okay............maybe those psychology books really aren't helping. :(
I hope at least this gave you something to laugh about and made you feel better.

It is strange that you keep having the same dream. Something is obviously bothering you for you to have the same reoccuring dream. You need to get to the bottom of it for it to stop. I hope someone wiser with some experience responds. :)

[w7vp]

Happy St. Patrick's Day Jodi. Although your dream seems more Gothic. It makes me think of a Ingmar Bergman movie like the Seventh Seal or Through the Glass Darkly.

I think that the nature of your brain is given to these images. Just look at the kind of creativity built into it. Your image in my book tells me that your brain is just venting some of that pent up creativity that you have not been able to control.

I really love your work and appreciate all you have done for me. I will never have that much talent. Think of all the truly creative people who have had similar experiences. The challenge is to be able to channel that creativity.

Thanks for everything.

Bill http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/rose.gif (http://www.millan.net)

[NMarti]

Jodi,
I certainly can't diagnose it but here is what one dream interpretation site said about dreaming of being lost

Lost

To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing. To dream that someone else is lost, represents unresolved issues or feelings regarding the person that is lost. Consider also what aspect of that person you may have lost within your own self. Perhaps you need to recapture and re-acknowledge those aspects.

Here is the site:
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/l2.htm

[Jodi Frye]

Nancy, I thought about it before your post and your post reflects what I was pondering. Funny, I got to thinking about the dingy dream and after surmmizing a bit I realized it....duh...indeed I have lost direction in my life (not sure I really had it to begin with)...been going in all different directions for so long but never really get to a point where I feel I'm doing the right thing...or going the right way. No satisfaction...ya know ? Perhaps writing it down made me realize this. But having no real satisfaction seems to be the way I am...I can't remember ever not being this way...or feeling this way. I'm never truly satisfied with anything I do...it's just never good enough...but I've also learned to accept this over the years which is probably my biggest problem at this point. I can no longer just accept it...I must find a way to move beyond this sort of self punishment. Forget the shrinks...pay 80 bucks an hour to hear " and how does that make you feel ? "... Screw that...I'll figure it out sooner or later...THANK YOU all for your support. Again, sorry i wated space here but you guys are my friends and I come to you when I need emotional help. You are the ones i depend on.

[NMarti]

Jodi,
I remember asking you one time what you did and you said you were interested in advertising art but didn't know what you wanted to do for sure. It seems you probably do have a direction but just aren't following it. You are so damn good at what you do and you should be doing it on a higher level like advertising or book illustrations. I showed your picture that's in the Missing Manual to my daughter and she went nuts over it. She is writing a teen level fantasy book along the lines of Hobbit series or Lord of the Rings. She said that was exactly along the lines of the type of illustration she wants to do. She is learning Elements now so she can start the illustrations. You really should pursue your artistic options. I know there has to be things you can do and probably even work from home - the best of both worlds. I hope you take the step because talent like yours should be shared and admired.

[e-mailsucks]

Nancy, I agree with what you just said. I have said to Jodi before that she has a real gift for stories. I know there true Jodi. And with her gift for drawing and art in general, she should be writing and doing the art work for children's books. I know she could and would do good at it. Tell her that I said that :D .

Brian :)

[NMarti]

Brian
I'll be sure to let her know.;) :D

[lindajay]

Jodi, I don't have any psychological help, but I wanted you to know that I'm really sorry that you've had these dreams plaguing you for so long! It must sap your energy, and probably you're not getting the sleep you should. I hope you can find a resolution! I have a similar recurring dream, I have it over and over, and have had for years, but sometimes it's weeks or even months in between, so it doesn't have too much effect on me. In mine, I'm also lost, but it's ALWAYS in a school. I'm always trying to find my way to a class, and I go up and down stairs, in and out of classrooms, looking for the right class. I never find it, and usually the dream ends when I realize it's too late in the day to go to class, even if I find it. I can't imagine if I were having this dream on a frequent basis, like you are yours! Hang in there. I think what everyone else has said seems logical. They say dreams are always symbolic, but that the emotion or core meaning (in this case "lost") is something real in your life. We need to be your cheerleaders for you to get into an appropriate creative outlet. Go, Jodi, go!!! We love you!

--Linda

[kayser]

Jodi- As a creative outlet, have you ever tried to draw your dreams? Some of the stuff you've done has been very fantasy like, so it would be a cool thing to try. (And it would save you the psychologist bill :))

And, I would just echo what others have said- you have amazing talent, and there HAS to be a way that you can make use of this ability and realize your goals.

[Dorrie H.]

Jodi, I'm with Kay, maybe if you Paint it out it will cause it to have an ending and will then go away....give it a try....Before you go to bed, think of all of us here and know how special you are to us. We'll beat this thing together.

Sweet Dreams, Dorrie

[NMarti]

The funny thing is I used to have a dream that something was smacking me right in the face, sometimes I was crashing into a brick wall, sometimes something just crashing into me, but always right between the eyes. They started out random and became more frequent and I would even have the sensation of the dream when I was awake, sometimes sitting, sometimes driving but always just BAM - there it was. Then they were almost daily and it was scaring me to death. Then - the cancer diagnosis. Hit me right between the eyes with a shock you wouldn't believe. Then, the very day I was diagnosed - the dreams stopped. Have not had one since. I guess sometimes they can be trying to tell you something.

[kayser]

Nancy, That gave me chills...

[jazzfisher]

Jodi,
I also have a reoccurring dream, that I hate. I'm in this same house or apt & can't seem to get out & more & more people keep coming there to spend the night. & everyone is sleeping all over the floor space. And it has something to do with my stepfather (who is a bad human being-in real life). But I never have figured it out, & when I'm having it I always try to wake myself up. So you aren't alone out there in dreamland!

[Jodi Frye]

Wow, the response here is a little overwhelming. I was just telling Norm that I now felt like a silly ninny for posting this thread...I throw my gutts out all over the paper and you guys come in a clean it up for me. You are all the very best people anyone could possibly have in their lives. Thank you so much. I have taken all your words into deep consideration and I truly know where you are all coming from with them..,..making things happen is my chore. Linda, I had the 'very same' school dreams first...the ' lost in the city' ones came later. The school dreams were so much easier...even tho at the time I didn't think they were. What really pisses me off the most is that this freekin' city is sooo familiar to me...I go to the same places, walk down the same streets...see the same buildings over and over and over again...truth of the matter is..I have no idea what my home looks like in my dream...that part is never established...it's never an issue. I just know that I have to get back there. So it seems to me that I will be on this merry go round for quite some time unless I figure out what the true meaning of it is. Anyways, I'll get passed it. BTW, I have in fact went down the children's book route about 18 years ago...a very large NYC publisher had me hanging for over a year...I kept sending them images etc...then they decided not to use it. I guess I kind of lost interest in this aspect of creativity after that...I had also told myself that some day i could publish my own darn books...whatever. Not feeling it at the moment. OK, enough with my babble..thanks again guys..you are my special guardians. Thank you.

[e-mailsucks]

Jodi, you don't strike me as a person that gives up that easily. To hell with the guys from New York. There are lots of books out in the world today that were refused by one publisher, only to become a hit with another. Don't give up on this, I know you would be so good at it.

Brian :)

[Jodi Frye]

Thanks Brian, ya maybe when the kids are grown and don't need so much of my attention ...my son just turned 5 on tuesday and my daughter will be 8 at the end of July...I'm 41 and trying my best to do it all..well, all that I truly can. I'm just no feeling the book thing right now...thanks tho...it was always something that stayed on the back burner. I wasn't ever thinking I was giving up. Things were different 18 years ago...I moved on without too much lingering thoughts about it. Anyways, I sometimes find it difficult just keeping up with this forum...I have a feeling it's become my ' comfort zone '. Thanks again.

[e-mailsucks]

Jodi, when you told the Santa story, I could have curled up with my jammies on. I couldn't believe how well you described the scene and your feelings. I just loved it. I thought, she's got to do this for the rest of the world. I think that when your son is in school, you have to start. If there was ever a calling, it's for you to do children's stories. I'll buy your first book and I don't even have kids :D . Please rethink it, you would be great. You may even make it onto Oprah :p , with her book of the month club. Ooh, that would be nice.

Brian :)

[Pauline]

Jodi, maybe I'm not the norm, but when I would buy my kids books, I would be attracted to the ones that were wonderfully illustrated. Are you familiar with the Franklin books? (a turtle). The illustrator actually lives not far from me. I loved all the detail in them, and so did my kids. My son who is quite artistic would be disgusted when I would read a book and the pictures didn't match up with the story. He was forever pointing out mistakes that were made by the artist. (this is a kid that in kindergarten would draw a sidewalk complete with the curb and make the building bricks also in proper propective.)

I think the door is always there and you will go through when the time is right. You just never know when the opportunity will come knocking. Be ready. Also there could be a bit of fear there. The fear of failure. The fear of further rejection. The fear of becoming too popular and not being able to keep up. (well that's how I used to feel about my painting -- so I'm just projecting that on you. :D )

Regardless of the fact that this thread doesn't relate to elements. It is still interesting to hear other people's thoughts and I feel as though we are all family here.

[bayhli]

Hi Jodi,

I used to work with my dreams through some Yoga classes I did for self-awareness some years ago now. Nightmares and repetative horrible dreams stopped as soon as I would figure them out, mainly because I had paid attention to the message.

Dreams are composed of the millions of thoughts we have during the day. They are messages from our "self" . If we don't listen to the messages from ourselves during waking, the important messages will come in the form of repetative dreams and nightmares, getting worse until we "hear it" .

Try to quiet your mind and then just free-flow & jot down quick responses to these questions and any that come during the process. (don't analyze!). Pay attention to the themes of your dreams in general terms (such as "seeking" / "looking" instead of travel), whatever verb fits best for you. What are the feelings surrounding the themes or symbols.

Interpretation is very personal - we would all come up with different responses to the same dream and symbols.

- what does "city" mean to me (free association - also consider your "feelings" meaning for all of these)
- what does "lost" mean to me
- what does "home" mean to me
- where do I feel lost right now (it won't be everywhere)
- what am I looking for
- etc.

The symbols (city, landmarks, home etc.) are likely not literal (altho they can be also) so you have to be very open to do this - just free associate when you start, again don't try to analyze anything.

Also keep track of what's been on your mind most predominately lately and every day - you'll be surprised how much goes unnoticed and clues to the dream will be amongst those thoughts. That's where journaling really helps with interpretation. And...you'll just "KNOW" when you have found the right message from the dream - it's great.

I should get back to this - it was really a useful tool for me.

Anyway, enough jabbering; hope somethings helpful in here for working with your dreams.

One final thought - We do have the answers inside of us !! (Drives me crazy to hear that, sounds soooo easy :rolleyes: )

Good luck and thanks for sharing a facinating area of life!!

[jazzfisher]

Jodi,
To paraphrase:
There's no place like home. And if you can't find it in your own backyard-you've never really lost it. Dorothy --Wizard of Oz

[Shari]

Jodi- I just read this thread. Firstly you are NOT taking up space - have you ever given a thought to how much space you have contributed for us. Also, I know it is terrible to wake up in the morning feeling scared and have to start the day. I know from experience that the best way to get through life is to communicate our feelings. I know this is why I have such a good marriage - both of us talk about the way we feel to each other. So, if you want to communicate - communicate. Look at all the wonderful response to make you feel better. I was told years ago that telliing someone something that is bothering me won't necessarily give me the solution but the fact that I have stated out loud what is bothering me takes a huge part of the fear of the problem away. I'm not sure if I said that right but I am being called for dinner so just know I am thinking of you.
Shari

[virgo1]

Jodi,
I have had a reoccurring dream where I am lost, trying to get home, it's night and near water. The dreams stopped, I don't remember when the last one was. Jodi...spill when you need to.
Eva;)

[Jodi Frye]

I just sent this message as a pm to a dear person that sent me a messgae...just wanted you to know that perhaps I've figured out what the dreams mean...

'Hey there ! Thanks so much for your message...I suspected that there are quite a few different issues that could be the cause of my stupid dream...the fact that I am lost and can't find my way home could also simply suggest that I want my own home. We've been renting a small house from my husband's parents...his mother is a control freek and even made us sign a lease. She wont allow us to do anything in here...I even have to ask if I can re-paint a room. I'm soooooo sick of it all. She drives me nuts. We've been married for almost 20 years but she still treats me like an outsider...it's not just that...as I said she is a control freek and I'm not one to be controlled...no freekin' way so basically for the past 20 years I have to bite my tongue about alot of things because after all....it's my husband's mother...I would never ever put up with her crap otherwise. So, that is what I think keeps annoying me...hense the dreams. We have been trying to save up in order to get our own place so I'm holding on to that...hopefully when we move into our home sweet home, the dreams will end. Thanks so much for your message...I appreciate it alot.

OK, again, thank you all for all your posts...you guys mean the world to me...couldn't have done it without you.

[w7vp]

:confused: Hi Jodi
Funnily enough I ha a dream this morning. I just now woke up from it. It went back to an old girlfriend from high school. What's up with that?

I am glad you are figuring it out. I know how much it means to have your own place. It is tough to get that started but important to do it.

I have been enjoying my new styles but I am stuck trying to find an idea for the attached picture. Any thoughts?:( :confused:
http://www.pixentral.com/show.php?picture=1rTehvFJpjHN9jQO8gLwlwQhrVsZbU0 (http://www.pixentral.com/show.php?picture=1rTehvFJpjHN9jQO8gLwlwQhrVsZbU0)

(I have already texturized it.)

Bill

[Pauline]

Well Bill sounds to me like you are pining for your youth. You want to go back to the teen years when you didn't have a care in the world or any responsibilities. I'm starting to feel that way myself these days! :D

Jodi! Your situation doesn't sound good at all!! Geez even if you didn't own you own home, you probably would have been better off renting from someone else!! To not even be able to paint without asking permission? That is just ridiculous. After much grimacing I let my daughter paint her room blue and red last year. She did a pretty half assed job with the painting, but I told myself it was her room and kept my mouth shut. I guess I have been fortunate. 2 marriages and both times I have had great in-laws who minded their own business. Maybe the secret is the fact that both of them had 7 kids and they were just too exhausted to butt into our life once they were done raising their kids. :D

Your answer sounds truly plausible. Even though you've lived there all that time, it has never felt like YOUR home! Apartment renters seem to have more rights than you do. I hope you manage to find somewhere else to go. After 20 years you shouldn't be treated like a second rate citizen by your MIL!

[kayser]

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing Pauline was, that's just not right! And, of course, the rebel in me wondered what would happen if you DID paint without permission? I suppose it wouldn't be good for harmonious relations, but geez....

[Jodi Frye]

Bill, ya, I sometimes have dreams of ancient relationships...tho they are usually pretty good...I'm never married in them ;) I don't know about your image...this is your thing Bill...you have been doing so well so far....I definietly see that gold will work well with it tho.

Pauline, gosh no...we haven't been living here 20 years...<strangle myself>...moved in in Spring 2001...5 years is getting old already....3 years ago I was ready to pull my hair own and jump on the next train to nowhere. Oh...the best part about asking to paint ? ....I can only paint if she agrees to the color I want. Anyways, that's is just a very small bit of it. Yes I have broken the lease a time of two already Kaiser....screw it. Petty stuff. I was only allowed one cat and it had to be fixed and declawed so I went and got 2 from the shelter...they were fixed but not declawed and they never will be :D ...and other dingy stuff...anyways, you guys must know how I am and this isn't my cup of tea at all. Anyways, so much other crap involved...many times I wish I lived in another area...far far far away...with a block on the phone from a certain other residence ;) ...Thanks again all...I must concentrate on geting out !

[Pauline]

Jodi, you are an artist. You need colour in your life. I couldn't stand living in an all beige house! (my Kitchen is terra cotta, livingroom a nice blue green, bedroom dark purple! ) Paint the bloody place any colour you like and when she bitches tell her you'll paint it white before you move out!!! It's only paint! I am sure there are many other issues involved and this is just the tip of it. It can't be good for your marriage either because whether you know it or not you are probably harbouring some resentment that you husband doesn't speak up about it. Sounds like it's definately time to move on!

[jazzfisher]

Jodi,
That treading the line with the MIL thing can be very tricky, I hear--since I've never had one I can't speak to you on that issue.
But hopefully now that you have "figured" out your dream--it won't come back!!:)

Sweet Dreams.....